Gender roles/arachnids/bad for you/Pig

My two big, burly garbage men complained about the weight of my trash. (!?)
I'm not throwing away concrete block, people.  It's regular old household trash.

I asked if they needed my help lifting it into the truck, since I'm the one that carried it all the way down to the road.
"Oh, we figured your husband did." (!!??)
Sigh...and who says that?
"No, he was washing dishes when I took the trash out.  We have our gender roles confused."
I think I confused them, as both of them glanced at my chest.


We've had a ton of gorgeous spiders this year.
Please note: my spider photography sucks.  Most often, I'm in some crazy position trying to avoid webs!

I know a lot of you are ready to slap me for giant spider shots, but I love me some arachnids.
They kill stinkbugs.  They can do no wrong.
Plus, they scare the shit out of Michael...and it's just plain funny when my 6'2 husband runs.. screaming.

  I made a few dishes to freeze..snacky, side-dishy things.
Of course, I had to taste test.

Mushrooms with bourbon cured bacon and a little brown sugar.
I'm not a huge bacon fan DON'T HURT ME!, but these...I could eat my weight in these.  They didn't make it to the freezer.  After we ate a portion with dinner, well, there was no point in freezing the measly amount left.  Waste of freezer space!  I'll make another batch to freeze.  And I won't devour them like some shroom crazed beast. This time.

Michael is a fan of jalapeno poppers.  I am not.
They are tasteless blobs of deep fried nothing-but-hot.  
Unless...you use seasoned panko and a special blend of cheeses and perfectly ripe peppers from the garden.
I even bake the suckers, so we don't have DEEP FRIED SIN..
I'm all about deep fried goodies.  That part is more for people that worry about their arteries.  Unlike me.  Apparently.  Mmm.  Deep fried swiss cheese.  When the hell is the county fair?! 

They are absolutely delicious, except when I got my peppers confused and made some with Michael's OMGWTF peppers.  I have no idea what type they are, except they are yellowish and contain enough heat to make the sun sweat blood.  After I put out my face-fire, they were quite tasty.
Michael LOVES them and declares all other poppers "a waste of time".  How can I refuse to make giant batches of these stupid things?

___________
PIG UPDATE:
For those that asked, Pig is gone.  Or in witness protection. Or at Fat Camp.
I fear she's gone to the Great Bakery in the Sky.
We had one incident with a Pig-that-maybe-wasn't...and that ghog hasn't been back.

I miss her, kind of.
I do not miss her breaking and entering, harassing me, harassing the dogs, eating my yard, etc.
It was kind of nice not to worry every single time I let the dogs out.
   Wherever she is, I hope she is fat and happy and full of caaaaaaaaaaaarbs.

Potato love

If you get really close to your monitor and squint, it's a heart. 

I am in need of comfort food today, so my bastardized potato gratin was on the menu.

If you don't eat cheese..or heavy cream...or butter..you might want to skip this post.
Wait.
I think you might want to skip this blog.
I believe in eating healthy, but that includes mental health- as in comfort food.

  Occasionally, our blogtalk turns to the sexy world of full fat.
Yeah, Mama.

We'll pretend the cheese is low fat cheese, if it makes you feel better.  We'll also pretend this is the full amount of cheese used, instead of just the topping.

If it makes you feel more comfortable...
 this is skim milk, instead of two cups of heavy cream, simmering with herbs and garlic...

The baking dish was NOT rubbed down with softened butter..it was that fat free/calorie free spray stuff.
Yeah...

I fully intended to post a photo of a fork full of cheesy, creamy, potato joygasm..but..well..
I ate that "test" fork.  And the next.
Quality control, dammit.

I'm not going to post photos of the massive, gorgeous steaks we're going to toss on the grill, lest you think I'm a hedonist.
I am.


So my comfort foods were taken care of (steak and potato, I'm a simple girl), when I get a text from Michael stating he's ready to run away from work and change his identity.

Hmmm...comfort food for Michael.
Got it covered!

Cream cheese/cheddar stuffed peppers..that weird sweet/hot variety that no nursery can ID..with an extremely crunchy panko breading.

If Michael sees this photo and asks where the little crusty piece of cheese (bottom right) went, I'm going to tell him those damned dogs took it.  Because that is what happened.  Got it?

At least they're baked, right?

She's back.

I don't know what you'll all do when Pig hibernates!

Frankly, a winter of NOT keeping Pig away from the front door...the dogs..the water heater closet...sounds dreamy!  Go to sleeeep, Pig.  Sleeeeep.
She's hilarious, but she's a big pain!

I made calzones with vegetarian pepperoni..Pig stole the leftovers meant for the crows.  Again.
At least she carried it to her den instead of right outside the front door.

"Something is off about this thing.."

"Smells...weird.."

'What the hell is vegetarian pepperoni?!"

"Ah well, I'll give it a shot!"

 Just because I could....

"Well, that was utter crap.  Got any plain bread?"

 Note the discarded *pepperoni* by her feet?
Un-freakin'-believable.

Michael mowed his down with nary a word.
After finding out it wasn't real pepperoni, he said "It tasted strange".  I don't buy it.
The color changing factor of the fake pepperoni is a turnoff for me.
It started out darker..as it cooked it turned orange.  Freaky.

Heading outside to pick up chestnuts (since the dogs and I step on the damned things!).
 Enjoy your day!

Oh...40% chance of rain now.  UGH!

It lives...

*It* being me.
I feel semi-human this morning!
I spent the last 24 hours in a haze of Dayquil and NyQuil, which I haven't taken in years..had no idea it was that ..ah..potent.
How is that shit over-the-counter legal!?
The Day formula had me so cracked out I couldn't sit still...
8 lbs of strawberries frozen or jammed, 3 lbs of blueberries and 3 quarts raspberries cleaned and frozen, 24 Bell peppers cleaned, sliced and frozen.
I love that moment while making jam when you realize the stuff is nothing more than sweetened lava.
My palm will grow back eventually.
I found myself sorting the storage container cabinets by size and color.
I couldn't stop scratching my eyebrows.
I mowed half the property.  Now THAT was brilliant idea.
Remember- do as I say, not as I do.
As a matter of fact, do the exact opposite of what I do.  You'll live longer and have less scars.
  Because I was 1. high and 2. running a fever, I felt it was wise to take the nighttime version.
Instead of knocking my ass out, I lay there drowsy and twitching.
Until 4 am.

Less than half the berries.  God help me.

This fall and winter, I'll look at my packed freezer and cabinets and feel content.  Right now, I'm just chock full of resentment.
Even though canning and freezing is my bright idea.

Note the deer-pruned hostas...

Looking for bugs under the pot...

Threatening a chipmunk..

He's a scary little bugger!

 I took a lot of bird shots yesterday I thought were great.  I must have had DayQuil goggles on!


Just for fun:

Pig, from July of last year:

BAH!

Forget allergies.  I'm sick.
By yesterday afternoon, my joints ached and I was running a 103 fever.
You know, when I had the kitchen buried under tomato sauce/paste supplies and couldn't stop.
Typical, right?

I run an almost paranoid-clean kitchen, but after realizing I was sick it was cleaner than most surgical suites!  I was making sauce for other people, too: "Here's your pasta sauce..and some plague germs!  Enjoy!"
My hands are red from the constant hand washing.
3 gallons of plain pasta sauce (so we can add meat or vegetables as desired), 9 half pints of tomato paste and 8 pints of salsa.
I just got the last of the dishes washed when Michael staggered in the door with eight pounds..EIGHT..of strawberries.  The very last of the local organics from a farm we love.
He's alive because he didn't know I was sick (I was too busy to call and whine).

Once again, he earned the Ultimate Husband title..because he didn't put a pillow over my face as I grumbled and tossed and turned and bitched.
I'm not a good sick person.  Being sick pisses me off.

We did have gorgeous skies yesterday..and I managed to be outside (sitting on the steps sneezing and cussing) when the starlings flew over!
I know fall is coming closer when the starling flock appears in the evenings.
The photos don't do it justice.  There's a stream of hundreds of starlings...all you hear is the rush of wings..it's fantastic!

We haven't seen Pig for 2 days...normal for this time of year...but I still worry about her!
I told the dogs "Watch for Pig", so Irie and Voodoo are keeping an eye out the doors and windows.
I know most of you will be on PigWatch with me, so I'll keep you updated ;)

The quest begins..

Every year I search for THE Easter dessert.  I don't know what it is about Easter, but I become frenzied over the dessert part of the menu.
Nothing too dense and heavy, usually no chocolate.

Last year we had lime angel food cake with raspberry sauce.  Light, tangy..and I have to say, I rocked the cake.  It was perfect. 
However, Michael didn't love it.

I know.

His exact words were, "It's ok.".  This changed to "You did an amazing job!" when I whipped around and glared at him (I was also armed with a fork).

So, I'm on another quest for The Dessert, this time Michael Approved.  *snarl*
As far as the rest of Easter dinner- no idea!

Top contender right now:  Lemon Meringue pie.  I hate meringue, but I have some warped need to create "mile high meringue with a perfectly toasted finish". 
Thank the gods it's easy to remove from the lemon custard.

My hesitation over my lemon pie? 
Years ago, I made this pie for Easter dinner at my grandmother's house.  She had a tiny slice before dinner, and another slice after dinner.  Both times she rolled her eyes to the heavens and sighed in Pie Ecstasy.  Praise from my gram..?  Highest Honors. 
How can any future lemon pie compete with that?
Yes.  I carry emotional baggage over food I've cooked. 
Yes, I know it's completely ridiculous.

--

It's rainy, chilly and beyond gloomy.  I want to bundle up on the couch with books, but instead I'm cleaning my kitchen cabinets today.  Woo.