Wednesday, June 18

I hate..

Commercials related to gardening.

Perfectly clean people, without a drop of sweat, gently messing about their lush oasis.

WTFingF.

I don't know one person on Earth that looks like that after working in the garden!
Show me a filthy, sweaty person, spewing profanity.. I'll run like hell to buy your MiracleWeedBeGoneMegaVegAndBloom.
Show me someone with dirt-stained knees (which won't go away until you grow new skin).

Show me someone who may or may not have forgotten their gloves and just pulled up a "I think that was highly toxic and oh shit, I just wiped my mouth!".

Show me someone who gives up and chops their nails to painfully short lengths because no matter what, they can't keep the garden soil cleaned from under their nails.

Or maybe that's all just me. 
God, I hope not!

Sunday, June 15

Hip hop abs..or, how I nearly died

It wasn't Hip Hop Abs' fault.
It was Voodoo's. Death by setter.
I got a free copy of HHA with my ShakeO kit.
OK, you know I'm always up for a challenge...this is probably why I won't see 40.
I watched the basic section, where we learn to Tilt, Tuck, Tighten. Seems simple enough so here we go!
I was following along fairly well, a minor miracle for me, when a certain Voo decided to break his stay and flop down right behind me.
*flail/scream/crash*
I didn't step on him, thank God, but.. WTH dog! Really?!
Do you have a death wish!?
For revenge, I'm making him advertise HHA while holding his down/stay.
So there!
Voo is no way endorses Shaun T or Hip Hop Abs. He says it makes uncoordinated white chicks fall from the sky





Tuesday, June 10

Shakeology and Beachbody musings

I've been reading a lot of fitness forums, with people slamming Shakeology and other Beachbody programs. Which, of course, is the way of the Internet.
I'm fine with that.
What I don't get it this statement:
They are fine if you have no discipline, and can't control your eating on your own.
Um. Why the hell do you think we need to lose weight in the first place?

Most of us that need to drop weight, well, we need to do so because of food choices.
Most of us don't have a medical reason. And that is fine. Really. Yep. It is.
(owning up to my french fry addiction, here)
Completely and totally owning up.
I have no discipline with certain foods.
Like.. Edible ones. ;)

I do not experience joy eating steamed broccoli. I experience joy eating perfect french fries. So there.
I need a hand with revamping my eating.
Not a damned thing wrong with that!
Shakeology and Beachbody are helping me. If Weight Watchers helps you, DO IT! If you can rock this on your own, DO IT!
I need the visual help of 21 day fix. I need the boost from Shakeology so I don't eat the kitchen. Or Michael.
(Beachbody needs to come out with a cute Hannibal bite shield for me).
Do what works for you, without making judgy statements about what works for the rest of us.