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| SOMEone is glad I made it back |
I'm home home home!
I got out on Wednesday, but it took me til today to get off my ass and post.
Having a rough time with all this.
The next person that chirps "cheer up! you'll be fine" is going to get smacked.
Repeatedly.
With a brick.
I'm aware and grateful and thankful.
Of course.
That doesn't lessen the anxiety or fear or stress or what-ifs.
Shut the hell up and let me process all this ON MY OWN TERMS.
Yeesh.
Anxiety is a big problem for me. Always has been.
Plus, I have some Diva issues.
Add those to a medical meltdown and ..well..you get crazy.
In my case:
DramaDivaAnxietyFussyCrazy.
It's scary. Just ask Michael (who is a brave, kind, wonderful, gentle, sweet soul).
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I lost 9 lbs in the hospital, and I cannot figure out HOW.
I ate like a freaking machine. It was scary. I'm almost embarrassed at how much I mowed down.
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The other dogs couldn't have cared less that I was away for 6 days.
Poor Voo is emotionally damaged and won't let me out of his sight.
I'm enforcing time away from me, since that's not healthy for him but...
He feels I cannot possibly pee or shower alone. I could vanish.
Forever.
He smashes his face into the glass shower doors and hums worriedly.
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My first roommate in the hospital was a crazed white supremacist. No, really.
Although I'm whiter than rice, I wanted to raise my fist and scream black power.
She was 66 with a heart problem. I could have taken her!
Then again, I was on two kinds of blood thinners. kind of evens the field.
Personally, I do not care what beliefs you have..as long as you keep that shit to yourself.
Hate everyone not your race/religion/etc? Fine.
Just shut up about it.
I would REALLY have loved to see what happened if she had a medical need and the only doc on staff wasn't "a pure, white American".
Let's see how strong your convictions are when your life is on the line, sugar!
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I had my first post-hosp INR test Saturday...hoping for good numbers!
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I really need to clean the house. Top to bottom.
Can I pull the pulmonary embolism card? Get out of cleaning ever again?
No?
Dammit.
It's good to hear you sounding feisty, Sam. Of course, when do you not sound feisty online? ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd agreed, anxiety is a miserable companion. Worse even than a white supremacist, I suspect, though that would have really gotten to me, too. Would have loved to have seen you screaming black power, and I'd have been happy to join you. :)
Hang in there and process all you need to. I'm rooting for you here in NY.
{{{ }}}
You with Diva issues? Nahhhhhhh! :) I absolutely love that picture of Voo.
ReplyDeleteI am going to play it safe and just say I am glad you are home!.. :)
ReplyDeleteGlad you are home and it sounds like you've got some sassy spirit to help you recover.
ReplyDeleteOh I am all too familiar with blood thinners as is my daughter who had several clots in her lungs last year after a routine surgery! Please take care of yourself and do enjoy the PT/INR tests!...:)JP
ReplyDeleteWelp, the whole thought of what you have been through kinda freaks me out. Except the loosing weight part. That is pretty cool. Expensive and scary, but hey, you gotta look for rainbows where you can find them. Welcome home and many blessings for a quick recovery.
ReplyDeleteOK no sympathy from me GET over it:)
ReplyDeleteYou scared me just don't do it again OK.
I am so glad you are home but in no way am I feeling sorry for you BUT I am going to be sending HUGS lots of HUGS if that is alright.
KEEP Smiling and making me laugh I hope you never have to do the house work:) HUGS xxoo(oops)that little bit of sympathy slipped out it won't happen again:) B
I've been through this with my daughter. It does get better...in time. Don't push it, hon. However, here is a great place to let it ALL OUT! We're here for ya!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you're home (although I know you're even happier:@). Take care and that pic is priceless!
ReplyDeleteThat doggie smile says a whole lot more that well wishers who want you to cheer up and be fine. Glad you survived the scary. And milk the invalid status as long as you can; or at least until the floor gets so sticky it pulls off your socks. (going out to hide the bricks)
ReplyDeletewhat a scare for you! terribly sorry! glad you made it back home to the dogs!
ReplyDeleteIs that an English Setter?
ReplyDeleteSam, I am glad you are home sweet home. That should help you heal.
ReplyDeleteThat is a heck of a story about your hospital roommate...it made me agree with a please shut-up request. Interesting stuff.
Dang! How scary! Nothing like a coulda-been-death experience to up the anxiety factor. With all my medical issues and hospitalizations, I've discovered that what helps the most is---normalcy. Being back home. Doing normal stuff. Rejoining the human race. Life feels unreal when you're in the hospital. Time ticks by so slowly. And a health scare, especially when you're usually healthy, is a big blow. Because then you're all, "Crap like this can actually HAPPEN! Any time! Ahhh!"
ReplyDeleteWishing you well.