Thursday, September 8

Dear Lee

or remnants of Tropical Storm Lee...
GO THE HELL AWAY.
Yes, we needed the rain...but...day 5 of rain here.
The dogs and I are gettin' a little crazy.
So is Pig.
"NO more freaking RAIN in my DEN"
Terrifying, isn't she?

I have been carrying the crow food all the way across the field, in hopes that Pig won't get it all.
I felt super smart.
Until yesterday, when she shows up outside the front door with the chunk of stale bread I had carried across the damned yard for the crows.

"You're so cute when you think you're outsmarting me"

Girlfriend, I don't think you need anymore carbs.  You're expanding East-West.

"Please.  You WISH you rocked a bod like this.
 By the way, I can see straight into your bedroom.
You need to up the bootcamp..maybe lay off food after..I dunno..2pm"

"Don't get all mad.  Just tellin' like it is.
I could eat your carbs for you."

Note the bread shrapnel falling from her paws..you can't take her anywhere nice.

We're off to town today...gah...