Tuesday, August 23

Ranting...and OMG Earthquake!?

1.  Electric company scheduled power outage.  From 7am to 1pm.
And tells no one.  I had to hear it from the lady at the tiny post office, who heard it from her boyfriend..his neighbors works for electric co.
2:45 rolls around, I call and ask when the scheduled outage was going to end.
"Miss, we know this is an outage.  It's scheduled."
Am I suddenly speaking in a foreign language? 
I want to know what the estimate is, since 1pm has come and gone.
"Miss, we don't like to give estimates...it disappoints our customers if we don't meet the time."
OMG don't get me started on disappointment in your company, Tiffany.  Your company tried to tell me the reason my power flips off every morning at 7 exactly...was squirrels.

2.  Sprint cell service.
I got yelled at for asking them why I was having service problems..
"There was an EARTHQUAKE, you realize? This caused a Mass Calling Event.  Did you not see the news?"
Did you seriously drop attitude on me, little man? 
Noooo. I didn't see the news because I don't have electricity and my phone isn't working.  It took us mountain folk a while to confirm it was an earth-freaking-quake and I've never experienced a mass calling event before..and your POS website is down so I couldn't check the FAQs or forums.  Don't piss with me today.


3. Jackass fishing without a license while we're hiking this AM.
"Hey guys!  Good spot, huh? Hope no dumb @#$% game warden comes by..haw haw!"
You have 1 minute to empty that bucket and reel in that line, or I'm calling the police.  And game wardens. And park rangers.  THEN I'm "accidentally" letting my dogs loose.
"Bitch!"

Did you know...dogs trained to bark maniacally when you say "SIC BALLS!" will give regular men warp speed?
It's true.
My dogs also know "Neuter!" means to bark like maniacs.
It's epic.  I promise I'll get video.
My dogs have NO idea what sic balls means..they aren't attack dogs.  I just used creative training words.

4. Earthquake.
OMG. WTF.
WTFingF.
I'm sitting on the bar stool in the kitchen, munching my sandwich, when the house twitches like a cat's tail...and then continues to writhe for 10 seconds or so.
"Michael! What the hell was THAT!?"
"Could that have been an earthquake!?"
"Honey, in WV? Really???"

Famous last words.


Hope everyone in Blogland is ok and has gotten in touch with friends and family...that was some craziness.