Plague! Pestilence!

Gardening is not for the weak or emotional.
(you see where I'm doomed here.  I'm a tad... emotional)

Yesterday morning, it was cooler and cloudy.  The dogs and I were so happy with the change in weather.  We frolicked!

No mosquitoes out and about, but a ton of dragonflies zipping around.

 A great morning to harvest and weed.

Until...
*cue ominous music*

What the hell happened to my brussels sprouts!?

Oh...Oh... you little squishy green bastards.

The brussels sprouts, cabbages and cauliflowers were mauled overnight.

SO.  VERY.  ANGRY.

I called a friend and poured out my rage and angst.  And disgust.
Those green blobs?
Not eggs.
Poop.
Caterpillar crap.
According to the gardening sites, anyway.
The eggs are yellow and hidden on the undersides of the leaves.  
They don't bother to hide their feces.
Jerks.

I always liked moths better than butterflies (ever spot butterflies feasting on carrion or manure? So much for creatures of sweetness and light!).
Of course, moths are to blame for these squishy little poop factories.
So..down with moths! Boooo moths! Yay butterflies!
(Yes, I am losing it)

Picking the last of the green beans, I spot Mexican bean beetles.
Not nearly the swarm of last year, but still! Haven't I suffered enough today!?

Then, I realize that powdery mildew had struck the squashes.
Dammit.
Every single plant has spots. Overnight.

Fighting the urge to napalm the entire garden, I researched chemical free ways to handle this.
Hand pick the caterpillars.  Blech.
Plus, there are 41 billion of them.  Who has that much time?!

The squashes are hitting the end of producing..I'm ok with wrenching them out of the earth and disposing of their mildewy carcasses.

The green beans produced about 7 pounds of beans and are at the end of their game.  I'm ok with pulling them.

But...the cabbages and brussels sprouts?  Not a single edible bit, yet.
They recovered from Pig's attacks.
Getting stampeded by the crazed raccoon.
Now this.

And this, friends, is why Farmer's Markets were started.
Some other sucker gardener grows everything and you just ..buy it.
No blisters, no bloodshed, no tears.
Why in hell do I do this?! I'm done! Forget this!
Until dinner, when we were enjoying the perfect green beans and fabulous carrots.  Then it started making sense again.

Ah well.  At least nothing is currently eating the flowers.

Well, nothing is getting eaten but the sunflower petals.  Dang it.

Oh, imagine that.  MORE caterpillars.  GAH!

Pardon the horrific images below.  It was just before sunrise and incredibly foggy.

Awww..adorable velvet!
Wait a minute...where is my hosta??  You ate my hosta, you jerk!

I CAN see you, ma'am.  Eating my peaches.  Again.